The back pages: Cuts from this week’s notebook

They can’t all be winners — as Illinois (1-1) learned firsthand on Saturday against Duke (2-0). Here’s everything that didn’t make this week’s notebook:

For the birds

I couldn’t bring myself to compare Duke sixth-year quarterback Walker Eget to a Great Egret, though I did seriously consider it. Besides his name, the similarities were obvious. 

Eget was a skilled hunter, taciturn yet vicious as he and his fellow Blue Devils dismantled the Illini defense. Add in Duke’s all-white uniforms, and Eget was nearly indistinguishable from the majestic bird.

If that wasn’t enough, a young Northern Yellow Warbler attempted to make its way into the Gies Memorial Stadium press box via the front windows midway through the third quarter. It landed on the ledge right in front of The Daily Illini’s own Jonathan Mathew before fluttering away after finding the windows closed.

Had it been successful in its attempt to infiltrate the press box, Illinois football’s Sports Information Director, Brett Moore, surely would have turned it away for failing to have the proper credentials. 

What’s in a name?

I was surprised to find fifth-year long snapper Jack Yates among the Blue Devils’ ranks. After all, Illinois baseball just had pitcher Zach Bates selected in this year’s MLB Draft. 

Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to look into double-rhyming names across different NCAA sports, but I’d have to imagine that this is somewhat of a rarity. 

However, I don’t think that the editorial crew of The Daily Illini would appreciate the incredible coincidence as much as I do — which is a lot.

Speaking of special teams, Duke brought five kickers to Champaign. Only Cosme “Don’t call me ‘Cosmo’” Salas made an appearance in Saturday’s contest. The Illini have just two kickers, which could have factored into their loss. 

Around the cheap seats: stuff that couldn’t even make ‘around the sidelines’

*Among the eight songs revealed to be in fifth-year quarterback Katin Houser’s stereotypical Southern-Californian gameday playlist, two got played over the stadium loudspeakers on Saturday. ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ came on midway through the first quarter, and fans heard ‘Iron Man’ just before halftime.

*For anyone interested in the status of the suite elevators at Gies Memorial Stadium, be sure to check out the Guest Assistance Room. A display board shows the current floor and direction of all six elevators. 

*Attention K-Mart Shoppers: Blue Light Special on ties. Someone lost their neckwear on the sidewalk between Grange Grove and the Stadium, and I (somewhat regretfully) left it there. 

*My roommate, Matthew Perry (not that one), was all over Duke’s second-quarter fake punt, as were several others in the student section.

“Who huddles before a punt?” Perry asked.